Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
