Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
