Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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