I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
