3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
