I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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