T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
