goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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