i would punch a child for taco bell
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
