he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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