Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize