Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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