I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
