i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
