She said her name was "party"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
