There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
