That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
