Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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