are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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