you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
