She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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