I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize