Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
