We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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