How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize