I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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