Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize