Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
