I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
