failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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