i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
