i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
