Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
