Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
