Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
