You're completely useless in the revolution.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
