they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
