I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
