love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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