I feel like abortions should bother me more
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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