Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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