Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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