You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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