But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
