This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
