I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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