Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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