what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
