my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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