His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
