Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
