I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
