this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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