this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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