youre lurking in front of me
i jhust puked up my retainher.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
