It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
