Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

HIV tests are more positive than that guy

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me

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(406): View more from Montana

Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls

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(952): View more from Minnesota

You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.

(651): View more from Minnesota

Looks like I won that one

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(408): View more from California

I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

How do you feel about a threesome?

(817): View more from Texas

Will you be there?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm the one asking!

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