things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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