Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
