Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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