shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
