I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
