Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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