i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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