i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
