So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
