My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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