doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
