I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
