Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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