she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
