I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
