The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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