i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
