grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
