somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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