ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could fuck to npr.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
