I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is Oprah even human
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
