In the future we'll all be gay
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You may now shotgun with the bride
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
