I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
