i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
